Nostalgia Wednesday

Alanis Morissette

When I think of Alanis, I think of various periods of my life.

First, there's the well-known 'You Oughta Know.' This reminds me of early junior high. My friend Casey and I were totally into MTV. I, however, was technically not allowed to watch MTV. I would sneak MTV in the evenings when my parents were out walking in the neighborhood. Usually I would watch 'Singled Out' with Jenny McCarthy. At other times I would watch music videos. My favorites were Boyz II Men and, of course, 'You Oughta Know.' I can remember Casey filling me in on the words that were censored on the radio.

Next was eighth grade social studies. Dusty and I used to recite Alanis lyrics back and forth to one another. Once, when we were bored, we took out a little notebook and took turns writing out the entire lyrics to 'All I Really Want.' At parent-teacher conferences, our teacher asked my mom if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We absolutely were NOT. But I do miss Dusty from time to time, strangely enough.

During my sophomore year of high school, Linda and I were listening to the album 'Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie' an awful lot. It seemed to always be playing in the background when we were in her bedroom. For a while, just hearing it would cause me to feel the same anxiety that I felt when I was realizing for the first time ever that I was attracted to another girl. It made me think of her hot room, the uncertainty of it all, the letters we would write one another, the smell of whatever shampoo she was using at the time.

The album 'Under Rug Swept' came out when I was a freshman in college. Lauren and I were really into Window FX markers. She had written a line from 'That Particular Time' on my mirror with one of the markers. It seemed like the perfect tragic relationship song, and we both seemed to relate to it so well. That album really revived my love of Alanis in a big way. I also remember, very clearly, going to the beach with Tiffany. She drove in her neon, and in the car we blasted '21 Things I Want in a Love.' Then, of course, there was my first Alanis Concert. The Tweeter Center. June 2002. With Tiff. We had awesome seats. Howie Day opened. The concert was amazing. We danced and sang, and experience Massachusetts rush hour traffic for the first time. It all sounds so wonderful and free to think of it now. 'Under Rug Swept' continues to be one of my favorite albums.

Unfortunately, I was somewhat disappointed with her next studio album, 'So-Called Chaos.' I do own it, but have listened to it rarely. Her live stuff, 'Feast on Scraps,' was decent, but didn't stick with me like the previous albums.

I did, however, take Miranda with me to see Alanis shortly after her unplugged 'Jagged Little Pill' was released. It, too was a disappointment. I can't help but wonder if I have outgrown Alanis at this point, despite our wonderful past together.

She has an album coming on in early June. Clips from it, and perhaps even the first single, are available. I have pointedly avoided listening to them. I'm actually nervous about not liking it (this is similar to why I haven't yet red Run by Ann Patchett). But, today, someone on the alanism livejournal community announced that her new album is available for presale, and that if you preorder, you get an autographed copy along with 5 extra tracks and some other fancy stuff. So I thought, what the heck? I ordered one copy for me, and one for Tiff, who throughout my Alanis evolution has been right there with me listening and loving (if you're reading this-- expect a package in early June!) I really hope I love it.

Tuesday Nostalgia

Camp (my favorite place in the world)

When I was growing up, family vacations usually meant a week spent at camp (look at the last definition under Outdoor accommodation and recreation on this page-- however, it's a bit more than that). We would pack up the car and go spend 6 days or so swimming, reading, and toasting marshmallows. It was glorious. I can remember that little kid state of excitement as we were leaving. There are photo albums with pictures of us standing near the packed car, ecstatic with anticipation. Then, as we entered the last leg of the journey and drove down the gravel roads leading us through the woods, I would glue my face to the window until, at long last, I would get a glimpse of the beautiful blue water of Songo Pond through the trees. I would then leap out of the car, and run down to the dock. I would change into my bathing suit as soon as was logistically possible, and I would essentially stay in that suit for the remainder of the week.

The only exceptions were when I was reading book after book after book, or when we went into town to visit my grandmother or get supplies. At my grandmother's house, my brother and father would head down to the little league field and play homerun derby. Occasionally I'd join them, but I would get bored, or they would get frustrated with my lack of athleticism. I was much happier letting my grandmother's cat, Dudley, lick my hands as he purred loudly. Sometimes I would dig through the closets of old clothes and toys my grandmother kept around her house. Sometimes she would pay me to pick up pine cones in her back yard: $ .01 per pinecone (one summer I made $8.00). If we were there the weekend of the Molly Ockett Days, there were fireworks and a parade to be seen. No matter the summer, the weather, or the people around, those weeks at camp were truly blissful.

I grew up spending a lot of my summers at camp. In high school, when I could drive myself, I spent even more time there-- alone or with friends. I learned to enjoy so many of the things that I now hold dear: reading, quiet, the lake, swimming, nature. I have said, since high school, that camp is where my spiritual self grew up. It is an intensely important place where I have grieved for the ends of relationships, made important connections with family, celebrated birthdays and holidays, and been able to just truly relax and be peaceful. Beyond that, it's a meaningful place for my family as a whole because it was built by my late grandfather and his children as a family project. It is now one of the few tangible pieces of him we have. It's a place where me, my brother, our cousins, parents, aunts and uncles all grew up. It is a place where we all belong; a home to all of us. And the tradition continues! I am now watching my nieces grow up coming to camp, and loving it just as much as I did. I can't wait to share it with my family-- to watch Miranda and our children grow to love it as well.

It's a truly beautiful place. I will, someday, post pictures.

Politics, not nostalgia

Just a quick note to say that Geraldine Ferrara is pretty awesome.

I'm watching Meredith Vieira interview her on the Today show about the role of sexism in the current presidential campaign. I couldn't agree more.

EDIT: Here's the interview. Rachel Maddow was there too.

Nostalgia Week

I've just decided. This week will be "Nostalgia Week." Each day (Mon-Fri) you'll read about something in my past that I feel strongly about. Did you miss today's entry? Read it here.

Cicadas

I had never heard of cicadas until 4 years ago. In 2004, my ex-girlfriend and I took a road trip to Ohio, Kentucky, and Niagara Falls. The trip was extremely significant for me in a lot of ways: First time west of New York, first time in Ohio or Kentucky, first time going to Niagara Falls, first time taking a trip with a significant other, first time seeing and hearing cicadas. I later came to think of that trip as the beginning of the end of our relationship. It was also the first in a series of events that precipitated function-impairing anxiety and then the amazing healing process that followed.

Today I read that, after 17 years, cicadas are returning in Massachusetts. I find this to be pretty exciting. The last time they were out, I would have been 7. I will be 41 next time.

The further we get into 2008, the more convinced I am that this is a pretty terrific year.

(read about the cicadas)

Right now I'm wicked excited about...

The song 'Great Divide' by The Kin

The Coro Allegro concert taking place today at 3 P.M. Church of the Covenant, 47 Newbury Street. Both of my parents plus Miranda's dad will be in attendance. It's going to be a fun and lively concert. I suspect that even my dad will enjoy it (he is not musically inclined).

Memorial Day weekend: a trip to Maine, spent with most of the extended family up at camp (one day I'll write an entry about camp that I can then link to so that you non-Mainers know what I'm talking about), and perhaps a quick visit to some of my favorite Lisbonites (don't be offended if I miss you).

Wedding planning: I've been changing my mind daily about wedding location. Edie Carey is all but a definite. Turns out she isn't all that expensive to hire for weddings (!!!!!!!!). But do we do beach/barbecue or lakeside inn or covered bridge? Right now we're focusing on locations in Maine. Date is also yet to be determined. Summer 2009. Stay tuned. I'm looking into wearing my mom's wedding dress. I'm still loving the look of the pretty diamond on my finger. This is fun, so far.

Heteronormativity or simple ignorance?

Today I emailed someone at an inn in Maine that Miranda and I have been considering for our wedding. I wasn't sure about the gay-friendliness of the inn, so I wanted to make it clear right off the bat that this was a gay wedding. Here's what I said in my email:

Hello!

My partner (she is also a woman) and I are planning a wedding ceremony and reception for the summer of 2009 and are interested in learning more about your wedding package options. Are there materials that you could send us to help us get a feel for what you offer, and what your rates are?

Thanks so much!

This is the response I got:

Emily:

I would be glad to send you our wedding material. However, same sex marriages are not permitted in the state of Maine. I think that Massachusetts permits them. You could have a reception or party here, but not the ceremony. You can also go to our website and fill out the required information and download the information.

Sincerely,
her name

I'm not sure if I'm just being oversensitive or what, but this response makes me feel kind of icky. What are your thoughts?

EDIT:

I decided to give her a chance to redeem herself, in case she's just truly sheltered and doesn't understand the concept of a gay wedding or something. I sent the following email. I will not completely write her off until I get her response:

Mary,

My partner and I do understand that any ceremony held in Maine would not be legally binding. We would like to marry in Maine, however because we have family there and we really like the setting and the area. We would like to have a ceremony as well as reception. It concerns me that you state we cannot have a ceremony. Surely the law doesn't prohibit a ceremony-- rather the legally binding contact of marriage, correct? Is this not simply not something you typically do? Please elaborate!

Thanks
Emily